


Elf Games

by Eros_Scribens



Series: Ruining Holidays [4]
Category: Christmas - Fandom, Original Work, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - All Media Types
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Bukkake, Bullying, Circle Jerk, Facials, Furry, M/M, Reindeer, Rudolph is an actual but sentient reindeer, Sex Humor, kinda dubcon but it's literally a cultural misunderstanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eros_Scribens/pseuds/Eros_Scribens
Summary: Feeling pity for Rudolph, one of Santa's elves invites him to play "elf games." Elf games are actually bukkake.





	Elf Games

**Author's Note:**

> I figure I can't exactly be offensive to anyone whose feelings I should care about if I write a sex parody about Christmas, as opposed to any other holidays around the Winter Solstice. Also, this may be the least kinky fic in the series, somehow.

Rudolph sobbed in his stall. None of the other reindeer would play with him. Or talk to him except to make fun of him. He’d put up with it all his life, hoping it would stop as they all got older, but no, even now that they were all grown up and would be pulling the sleigh this year, it was still all insults and kicks. This morning, someone had shat in his manger, on purpose, and so he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Someone would clean it, eventually, but he’d be hungry until then. He couldn’t clean it himself, because he didn’t have thumbs. Rudolph crossed his eyes until he could just barely see his own nose. His hideous, unnaturally red nose. Other than being bright red and faintly luminescent, it was a perfectly good nose, but it was weird, and that was enough for the others.

Footsteps. One of the elves was here. “Holy mackerel, something smells! Rudolph, did you do this?”

“No. Someone else pranked me.”

“Pretty bad prank, huh? They don’t like you much. Santa’s worried you’ll be trouble for the sleigh team.”

“I’m not trouble! They just don’t like my nose!”

The elf seemed to be thinking. “Want to prove you can work as part of a group, with people who don’t hate your nose?”

“Huh?”

“Instead of trying to get in on the reindeer games, how about you join me and the other elves for some elf games? If you can do that, Santa will know you’re not the problem.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Sure!”

“What about my nose?”

“Elf noses are almost as red as yours, Rudolph. Nobody’s going to mind.” It was true. Nearly all elves had extremely rosy cheeks and almost as rosy noses. Rudolph suddenly wondered if there were elves who were ostracized like he was, but for not having noses that were red _enough_.

The elf led Rudolph out of his stall, out of the barn, and then out of the reindeer pastures. Soon Rudolph was in a place he had never seen before. “Where are the elf games?” he asked.

“They’re in the North Pole Community Center,” answered the elf. “That’s in the town where the elves live. Really not bad for a company town, either. Infrastructure’s pretty good even in the parts tours don’t go through. Still not allowed to join the Teamsters’ Union, though.”

They turned off the main street in front of a large and cheerfully decorated brick building.

“And here we are! Careful on the steps with those hooves, now. Or there’s a wheelchair ramp in the back, if that’s easier.”

“Stairs are fine,” said Rudolph.

There were lots of other elves inside, in a big room with lacquered hardwood floors.

“Hey dude, is that who you meant when you said you were bringing a friend?”

“Yeah? Problem?”

“I just don’t know if he can play this game. He doesn’t have thumbs. Elf games generally involve thumbs.”

“He can be the one in the middle then.”

“Okay, that works!”

“What’s the game?” asked Rudolph.

“It’s…well, basically, you’re it, so you stand in the middle of a circle—that’s the rest of the players—blindfolded, and you try to catch everything.”

This seemed almost like a prank. But Rudolph really wanted to prove he could work as part of a team, so he didn’t run out the door. The community center’s floor was so smooth that running would have been difficult, anyway, with hooves. He also wondered if it would hurt if he missed the things thrown and was hit by them instead, but then, the other elves would be at the same risk of getting hit if he missed, so whatever they were throwing couldn’t possibly be anything that could hurt a reindeer. If it was a prank, it wasn’t going to be the worst one of today, for certain.

“Ok!” said Rudolph. He bent his head and let the elves put a blindfold on him.

Now in darkness, he stood and listened for balls being thrown, but there were no sounds except muffled grunting and a curious soft slapping. This went on for several minutes, and then something wet hit Rudolph’s face.

It smelled like frosting.

Rudolph thought it was odd that the elves would be throwing frosting at him, but frosting was frosting, so he stuck out his tongue and licked it.

It did not taste like frosting.

Rudolph snorted and spat, as more jets of the mysterious, deceptive substance hit his face. Some of them went into his mouth, which just made the taste and the sickly-sweet smell more intense. The flavor was bitter, but something about it made a place between his legs feel weird—a good kind of weird. But he barely had time to notice that, because he was still being covered head-to-tail in the cloying buttercream slime. It was getting in his nose, and between the liquid and the overpowering scent, he was mostly concentrating on figuring out how to breathe.

One of the elves removed Rudolph’s blindfold. At some point, the deluge had stopped without him noticing. He blinked a bit in the sudden light, noticing that both he and the floor were covered in sticky goo, like an egg white gone cloudy.

“You did great! Did you like it?”

“Er…,” said Rudolph. If there was an adjective pertaining to how he felt right now, he didn’t know it.

“My turn to be in the middle!” said another elf, from somewhere.

“But then Rudolph can’t play, because he can’t reach his icing piper with his hooves!”

“I’ve got two hands,” said the elf who’d brought Rudolph there. “I can help him out. Double-frosting!”

Rudolph got into the circle, and the elf snaked a hand under Rudolph’s belly. That was pretty ticklish…oh. There. That felt good. Rudolph decided he liked elf games.

**Author's Note:**

> So _now_ I manage to write NSFW under 1000 words...not that I was trying to do anything particularly spectacular here, and the actual sex part is literally 15-20 minutes real time and the narrator doesn't know what the fuck's going on. *Does actual real-life shrug emoji.*
> 
> BTW, speaking of things that vaguely inspired this horror ("icing piper" was deliberate, before you ask), I'm just going to rec David Holly's erotica, particularly "The Devil's Demand" from his _Perversions of Horror_ anthology (yes, I paid real money for that ebook), which is also Christmas-themed, sort of, and amazingly ridiculous. And probably a lot more erotic than this ultra-short piece here is!


End file.
